Monday, January 3, 2011

G.I. Joe Pursuit of Cobra: Alley Viper

Presenting the Cobra Alley Viper. The card describes the Alley Viper as "Urban Combat Specialists. They are armed with close-quarters battle gear including blast shields, anti-armor weapons and assault tonfas." The original file card of the toy read "Alley Vipers are equivalent to police SWAT units or British Special Air Service Commandoes. They are selected from the most brutal and ruthless among Corba's ranks. As part of their training regimen, Alley Vipers are "required to survive a full burst of machine gun fire across their frontal body armor, execute a thirty foot jump onto concrete with full combat load and run down a hundred meter gas-filled corridor without a mask"

My love for the Cobra Alley Viper goes all the waay back to my teens. In the old, old G.I. Joe: A real American Hero Comic books Scarlett had to battle them when they came for her and Snake-Eyes. I found the concept exciting. Urban combat troopers carrying blast shields fighting up close and personal in blood red armor. Their armor was so-high tech that instead of relying on their eyes, they relied on a sensor suite in their bullet-proof helmet. I always wanted one, but never got one.

But now it can be said: "You know you work for Cobra when they forget to provide you with ammunition."



Just look at all this gear! A full body suit - probably padded or Kevlar, two knives (I particularly like the reverse one on his right hand, he can reach for the one on his chest armor with his right hand while drawing the one on his right forearm with his left - simply beautiful, well thought of detail), A blast shield - okay the diamond shape kinda reduces its effectivity unless you intend to battle opponents all day on your knees; a tonfa stick, an ascension rifle which attaches to a utility backpack that sports three grenades and what looks like communications equipment; three different headgear options; and finally chest armor with loads of pouches and a snub-rifle with a banana clip supposedly carrying armor piercing ammunition for close quarter combat.

Notice anything missing? EXTRA Ammo clips! What's he supposed to do when he runs out? Hide behind the shield and hope that the Joes come close enough for him to hit with a Tonfa stick? Shoot them with an ascension gun? Go Kamikaze with the plethora of grenades that he's carrying?

What a buzz kill. 

Do you know who's carrying extra ammunition that looks like it would fit in the Alley Viper's snub rifle? The Jungle Viper! While it may be conceivable that he's carrying bullets in those many pouches that he has on his vest, seriously, who would stop to reload a clip?

So personally I think the only justification for this is that he's been misrepresented by his Pursuit of Cobra blister card. No way is this guy a sentry relegated to guarding a warehouse. This guy is a shock-trooper. These are the people that you call when you need to break through a stronghold and your opponents have mined all the entrances and keep tossing grenades. They go through blowing up as much as they can - as much as they want - with little regard as to whether or not they (or anyone else) will survive - so they don't need the extra ammo as either they kill their enemy in the initial burst or they'd be dead anyway. They come through the doors and windows - or make their own and mow everybody down. If they're still alive, they're the beach-head upon which stronger, slower troopers follow up on.

Kamikaze is indeed their credo.






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