STAR WARS: Jabbas Throne

A while I came across the warehouse of one of the country's premiere toy distributors in the Philippines. I crammed my 6'2 overweight frame through these two feet wide gaps between stacks of wonderful, wonderful toys and I found quite a few jems. This is one of them. Presenting, his bloatedness!! Mr. Loverboy extraordinaire! The one who gave you Princess Leia in a steel bikini! Jabba the Hutt.... and his massive throne.... and Oola the dancer, the first truly naked, unhairy humaniod (Yes, Wookies don't count) Star Wars character to be entered into the market.

Jabba the Hutt is one of the most memorable characters to come out of the Star Wars Universe. In many ways he's just as evil or even worse than ... dare I say it? Darth Vader. For where as Vader covets power, and an orderly universe held in the clench of fear; Jabba the Hutt covets just as much power, but through baser means: drugs, gambling and women.

If the empire was to truly have its way with the universe, then one day it would move a Death Star to Tatooine and fried Jabba would be on the menu. They have to. Jabba preys on human weakness, on corruption. He's like a cancer that has to be wiped out. And he's not human and the Empire is pretty strict about destroying everything that's not human. Conversely it's also only a matter of time before Jabba the Hutt would have sent his bounty hunters out for Vader's head on a pike. Darth Vader versus Boba Fett? I'm with Vader, but that would be so much fun to watch.


Jabba's Throne comes with... welll.... Jabba the Hutt and his Throne.  It's a thick slab of stone (plastic) adorned with iron rings all around. These are used to chain his slave girls to his bloatedness or probably to drag the Jabba's Throne (And Jabba the Hutt Himself) around. The package claims that Jabba's tail is articulated, but it's actually very hard to pose. The only parts that are easy to move would be his upper torso which twists and his arms. His mouth is slightly open and you can clearly see the drool marks, but it is not animated like the Jabba the Hutt that was released at roughly the same time as this one that opens and closes when you move his arms. The package also comes with an assortment of cushions, a curved arm rest and Jabba's Hookah Pipe. Though personally I think more cushions would have been better.

The package also comes with two other figures. First up is Salacious B. Crumb, the Kowakian Monkey Lizard that kept laughing during Return of the Jedi. He's Jabba's court Jester. He's the little guy who was feasting on C-3PO's eyeballs before getting zapped by R2-D2's arc welder. He presumably died when Jabba's skiff blew up over the Sarlacc Pitt. He's not very articulated. You can move his arms and and head around but because they're already bent, there's nothing much you can do with him but place him at Jabba's side on the throne. Or, if you happen to have a C-3PO from the 30th anniversary collection, you can perch him on top of C-3PO and gouge his eyeballs out. Pretty cool huh?

The next figure is the tragic dancing girl, Oola (As in Ooolala!!!). She's a Twi'lek. Their race is known for two things - psychopathic warriors and dancing girls. Oola, the daughter of a clan chieftain, was reportedly one of the best and she's seen dancing in Return of the Jedi till she refuses to make out with Jabba and gets thrown into the Rancor pit. Oola was actually one of the reasons Return of the Jedi has an R rating - you can actually see through her clothing in the movie. I was actually surprised when I got this particular figure because you can actually remove her clothing and she's pretty naked underneath - and tied by the neck to a long string that you can give to Jabba. Sadly she lacks detail though, but this is the first instance that I know of that STAR WARS released a naked figure. Too bad she died.

Another sad twist to her story happens in one of the short story compilation books that was released after Episode 6, but I can't remember if it was from Tales from Jabba's Palace or Tales from Mos Eisley. Apparently prior to being transported into Jabba's service, Oola was met by Luke Skywalker who actually offered her a chance to escape. But she stayed because she wanted the glory and fame of having danced for Jabba the Hutt. She thought that, as with any employer, that she could leave at any time.

She thought wrong.

Jabba's throne is a must have if you have a Mos Eisley collection - especially you guys who have completed the Max Rebo Band, which I now intend to do. It retails for around PhP 2,000 depending upon who you ask.