GI Joe Defense Mech

GI Joe Defense Mech

Presenting a 2004 Defense Mech from the GI Joe Valor vs Venom toyline.

There's something built into every guy's ego that says that if you are to enter the battlefield, you have to be the biggest, baddest motherfracker to walk into the warzone.

And the GI Joe Defense Mech is definitely the thing to make you feel like you have the biggest.... thing.... on the battlefield - especially since this is a power-suit, not a mech or a walking tank like the Steel Marauder

For more about the GI Joe Steel Marauder, click here. 

Though personally, I think that anybody strapping into a GI Joe Defense Mech should really be bothered by the "radioactive" symbol above the cockpit which suggests that this thing is probably powered by a mini-nuclear reactor (Akin to Battlemechs).

That's not something you want to be close to in the event of reactor breach.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP



The Defense Mech's suit is simplicity itself. Strap yourself in, lock in your leg, grab the arm control firing studs, and march into battle. You'll notice there are no boosters in the back, so, there will be no flying into combat, just walking. Maybe running.

The Defense Mech originally came with a Letherneck figure - which we don't have. Its blister pack reads: "The GI Joe team face a fearsome new threat from the evil COBRA organization. Dr Mindbender has joined the DNA of COBRA fighters with that of the Earth's most savage creatures, creating hybrid warriors with dangerously superior fighting skills. In addition, COBRA has armed the with specialized vehicles and weaponry that match their animal traits. To fight these ferocious, troops, the GI Joe team develops advanced battle-technology that enhances the powerful combination of man and machine. It's a thrilling new chapter in the battle to protect freedom and justice for GI Joe - a Real American Hero!"

It goes on to also say "Leatherneck climbs into the Defense Mech vehicle to do battle against menacing new biomechanical vehicles unleashed by COBRA. The Defense Mech has advanced kinetic response systems that give leatherneck the power to swiftly take on the enemy's latest threat!" So definitely running. No flying.

The blister pack does not identify what the GI Joe Defense Mech comes armed with, but if you press the button on the right arm, you trigger a slow fire autocannon noise, machine gun noise and a little explosion accompanied by a green light at the tip. The left arm comes armed with a pair of spring-loaded missiles. The GI Joe Defense Mech also comes with an opening/closing canopy and a pair of movable antennae.

GI Joe Defense Mech

GI Joe Defense Mech

WHAT'S TO LIKE ABOUT THE GI JOE VALOR VS VENOM DEFENSE MECH?

FIRST: It's a really cool concept. It's the Alien's loader with the armaments of Captain Mifune's APU.

It's taller than your average soldier so it's free to stand behind a charging army and provide cover fire, yet not tall enough that it cannot possibly be loaded lying down on a truck or a helicopter.

And unlike both the Alien Loader or Captain Mifune's APU, the GI Joe Defense Mech does provide its user with a modicum of protection while being able to dish out quite an impressive amount of firepower.

The arms are also modular, so you can swap them out for other weapons packages, but we didn't have any.

The GI Joe Defense Mech's arm articulation is limited only by the reach of the pilot's arms - in some cases, he'll have to let go of the other arm in order to lean out to the side or lift the arm higher. Only the left arm has a working elbow. The right arm has the same piston look of the left, but the elbow is fixed.

So the GI Joe Defense Mech isn't much for anti-air. It's really anti-infantry and anti-armor.

SECOND: You really don't want to see that coming to you on the battlefield:

GI Joe Defense Mech

GI Joe Defense Mech

WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT THE GI JOE VALOR VS VENOM DEFENSE MECH?

FIRST: It may seem scary from the front, but this is what it looks like when the Defense Mech is charging.

So yes, it can barely move. It can't spread it's legs to "brace" it can't even really take a step forward without it running the risk of keeling over.

At best it can... shuffle... forward and lean a lot.

SECOND: The Defense Mech cannot twist at the waist, so you have a limited.... maybe 90 degree field of fire, before it has to physically turn, so moving fast is the solution to dealing with the Defense Mech. The range is also severely limited by the reach of the pilot. Shorter arms, smaller field of fire.

THIRD: While the Defense Mech provides the pilot with a modicum of protection thanks to the bullet resistant glass, the users arms and upper legs are horribly exposed. The pilot is also exposed from the sides.

FOURTH: It's a walking nuclear bomb if it is indeed nuclear powered.

Still, a wonderful powerful arsenal and a veritable wall to overcome used correctly.

Since this is a 1994 released toy, it is no longer available on Amazon. This particular one in the Dungeon is old and we never got around to replacing the batteries or the missiles. A second-hand one on Ebay would probably set you back around US$ 30 (Roughly PhP 1,410 plus shipping).

Not a bad deal.

GI Joe Defense Mech