Monday, December 11, 2017

GI Joe SLAM

Strategic Long-Range Artillery Machine
GI Joe SLAM 
Presenting the GI Joe SLAM or Strategic Long-Range Artillery Machine.

We first saw the SLAM in Marvel's G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero # 59 all the waaaaay back in 1987. The SLAM was a prototype artillery weapon that was being transported by the GI Joes through the mountains of Colorado. Cobra Commander was able to trace where they were going thanks to the Accounting wizardry of the bird-man Raptor. Cobra Commander then moved to attack the convoy - which included a HAVOC - in one of COBRA's most controversial vehicles ever, the COBRA POGO.

It was also known as the issue that highlighted a GI Joe favorite, their survival expert, Outback.

We don't remember much about the issue anymore save that it ended up in a tunnel with the POGO coming, head-to-head, against the GI Joe APC towing the SLAM.

Suffice to say both sides lived to fight another day.

MORE AFTER THE JUMP

The blister-pack of the GI Joe Strategic Long-Range Artillery Machine (SLAM) simply says: "Deploy stabilizing units. Check! Ready multi-barrelled guns. Check! Target identified. Check! Lock on missiles! YO JOE!"

The SLAM Comes armed with:

  • A Titanium Alloy/Micromesh Armored Turret
  • A fire control monitor/ballistics computer
  • A target acquisition computer
  • An auto-load/ammo containment housing sytem
  • 4 "slider" hydraulically-operated support arms with "dug-in" support arm feet
  • 8 "Barrage" thermal night-vision control mini-missiles
  • 4 "Four-up" 90mm cannons
And is powered by a 600HP Engine/Hydrostatic transmission engine. 

Strategic Long-Range Artillery Machine
WHAT'S TO LIKE ABOUT THE GI JOE SLAM?

FIRST: It's a unique concept. It's an portable artillery piece that can defend itself against attacks.There's a blurred line between a howitzer and a field gun, by it's very name (long range), it's a howitzer, but Outback used it as a field gun in the comic books - but then again we suppose a howitzer can also be used to fire at a target that's right in front of it.

90mm barrels makes it weaker than the 155mm barrels used today, but a) It's still stronger than the 75mm barrels used by the GI Joe HAVOCs, and; b) that's four (4) 90mm barrels sending hell at you, not just one.

Then the SLAM is protected by 8 missiles that can be flown by wire or allowed to track heat independently.

So a series of these could be set up to create a nigh-impenetrable defensive wall, or be used to slowly roll an army forward.

Here's the SLAM all folded up and ready for travel:


Here it is fully deployed:


And finally the GI Joe SLAM operated by two GI Joe Artillery specialists: Grand Slam and Bombardier. One Joe finds the target, the other Joe delivers hell.


WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT THE GI JOE SLAM?

FIRST: If the Strategic Long Range Artillery Machine ever fired any of it's weapons, it would probably kill both operators at the same time. Firing any of the weapons should also pretty much destroy the computer systems of the SLAM as well.

You know how nobody should stand behind a cannon before it fires? These two operators are sitting right behind four of them.


Then of course there are the missiles.

SECOND:  Where does this thing store it's ammunition? We'd like to assume that the SLAM uses a separate ammunition team to load a round and load the primer that will send the explosive round across the rainbow bridge, but the SLAM was firing freely in the comic books. No separate ammunition team.

Weird.

The GI Joe SLAM is no longer available on Amazon and was last manufactured in 1989.This particular GI Joe SLAM has been in the Dungeon for quite some time.

Still an interesting concept.


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