GI Joe - Marauder/Valkyrie Custom Dial-Tone

Yes, I used to be a man. 

To be perfectly honest we cannot explain why GI Joe's Dia-Tone - who was male in the comics and the original cartoons - became a woman. 

Though we do like the gender-bend. We cannot find how exactly the two are related. We have the original female Dial-tone released by Toys R US in the Desert Troop Builder five pack, but we weren't happy with her very "base"look.

So we made our own. 

Originally we started building her out of her Toys R Us version, but we weren't happy because she was just so... basic.

So we decided to look to Marauders/Valkyries, to create our female fighting communications officer.

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GI Joe Vintage Fast Draw Action Figure Quick Review

Beware the firepower of a US Clerk typist!

Fast Draw was one of the GI Joes that, if you really think about it, is absolutely ridiculous. But he did make our imaginations fly.

Bear with us people as we try a new camera here in the Dungeon.

Frankly we're not impressed and will stick to the Samsung Note 5 that we've been shooting with for quite some time now.

Anyway, to the uninitiated this is Fast Draw, the GI Joe Mobile Missile specialist who is much loved and much hated for introducing FAFNIR or the Fire and Forget Non-Tube Launched Infantry Rocket.

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Vitruvian HACKS Aiyana Elven Archer - Autumn Guard - Action Figure

One Shot, one Kill

With the drought brought by the lack of new GI Joe toys, the Vitrivian HACKS Aiyana Elven Archer is a refreshing albeit small, glass of water. 

We've been seeing the Vitruvian HACKS (Highly Articulated Character Kit System) around hobby stores in Metro Manila for quite some time and have thought of them for customization projects for G.I. Joes. However they were quite pricey to be discarded just like that so we never got them. This particular Aiyana was borrowed from a fellow collector who asked for help with an issue that we'll discuss later.

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GI Joe SLAM

GI Joe SLAM 

Presenting the GI Joe SLAM or Strategic Long-Range Artillery Machine.

We first saw the SLAM in Marvel's G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero # 59 all the waaaaay back in 1987. The SLAM was a prototype artillery weapon that was being transported by the GI Joes through the mountains of Colorado. Cobra Commander was able to trace where they were going thanks to the Accounting wizardry of the bird-man Raptor. Cobra Commander then moved to attack the convoy - which included a HAVOC - in one of COBRA's most controversial vehicles ever, the COBRA POGO.

It was also known as the issue that highlighted a GI Joe favorite, their survival expert, Outback.

We don't remember much about the issue anymore save that it ended up in a tunnel with the POGO coming, head-to-head, against the GI Joe APC towing the SLAM.

Suffice to say both sides lived to fight another day.

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GI Joe 50th Anniversary Bazooka Action Figure Quick Review

Yeah, I'll kaboom tank

Welcome to a quick review of the GI Joe 50th Anniversary Bazooka Action Figure.

Sergeant David L. Katzenbogen, from Hibbing, Minnesota was an Abrams tank-driver in the Third Horde (US Third Armored Division) when he realized that his multi-million dollar tank could be destroyed by some idiot walking around with a rocket launcher that was only worth a few hundred dollars. He put in for transfer after that.

Personally we feel he forgot about the part where the farmer has to walk. That, and this is no longer WWII where tanks relied purely on line-of-sight. Sneaking up on a modern tank today is much much harder. Then there's the range and improved armor.

But whatever makes him happy.

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GI Joe Rise of Cobra ROC Dialtone Quick Review

Dear Penthouse: Does Marvel own GI Joe? 

Welcome to a quick review of the Toys R'Us Exclusive GI Joe Rise of Cobra Dialtone.

Dialtone is a part of a five-action figure troop building pack that includes movie variants of Footloose, Law & Order, Repeater, and Zartan.

With the exception of Zartan, none of them appeared in either movie but Dialtone does make an appearance in the GI Joe The Rise of Cobra video-game - the same game where Agent Helix makes an appearance - the character from where Dialtone here gets her head.

Her blister card states that her name is Jill S. Morelli and the video-game identifies her as the sister of "Jack S. Morelli" - the original Dialtone. They've been identified as brother and sister.

You'd think that the GI Joes would have another code-name available for her. Do people today even know what a dial-tone is?

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GI Joe Jodie "Shooter" Craig Review

Jodie "Shooter" Craig

Welcome to a review on the 14th original GI Joe member Jodie "Shooter" Craig.

In 1982 Marvel released the GI Joe A Real American Hero Comic book with 13 original GI Joe characters: Hawk, Snake-Eyes, Scarlett, Stalker, Zap, Rock & Roll, Short-Fuze, Flash, Grand Slam, Clutch, Grunt, Breaker & Steeler. However a 14th GI Joe Member is mentioned in a panel listing the 13 original Joes - Shooter (Which was a joke/tribute to Marvel then Editor-in-Chief Jim Shooter).

However that character's face was blocked out and "Shooter" would remain in the shadows for decades until Devil's Due Comic's GI Joe Declassified # 1 in 2006 which revealed Shooter to be a an attractive NCO assigned to the Chaplain's Motor Pool who was secretly a sniper assigned to the GI Joes.

Ten years after that, and she's finally an action figure.

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Top 5 fan-favorite female GI Joe characters

Who is the fairest of them all?

Welcome to the results of a Facebook Fan page poll "Which is your favorite female character?"

Again this is from the GI joe Rec Room Facebook page - do join us there - where Ed asked that particular question.

It wasn't very specific so right off the bat, COBRA women were thrown into the survey. After a while it got quite educational as the some of the members voted for women who were neither: Such as the Oktober Guard's Leytenánt Daina L. Janack, and the civilian Candy Appel.

Surprisingly none of the newer GI Joe women made it into the list, and nobody voted for the Female Cobra officers - who we believe are really, really hot.

Here are the top five results:

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Top 12 GI Joes fans would use in real life.

Outback, Beachhead and Lowlight storm the beach

Presenting the top 12 GI Joes that fans would use in real life. 

This is actually the results of a poll posted by Ed in the GI Joe Rec Room Facebook page. He asked "If you had a 3 man team to infiltrate Cobra Island who would you pick?" 

It was a good question because it fell down to the bare minimum in terms of military fire-teams. Which three would you indeed assemble and send - quite possibly - to their deaths (Someone actually suggested the Fire-team of Windmill, Skidmark and Sneek Peek because he did not expect to see them come back alive - to be fair, we think Skidmark would make it). 

Anyway we decided to tally the data and here are the results - the top 12 GI Joes that fans would pick if they had to send a three-man fire-team to infiltrate Cobra island

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5 Heroes who died and stayed dead

Marvel's Book of the Dead

Presenting 5 heroes who died and stayed dead. Today is November 1 or Día de los Inocentes ("Day of the Innocents"); Tomorrow is November 2 AKA Día de los Muertos the "Day of the Dead"

So it only seemed right to do a review of dead comic-book super-heroes.

Unfortunately while the list of dead throughout the comic book world seems to be quite a long list, most of the really good dead people keep coming back to life (And DC keeps rebooting its universe so eveyrone keeps coming back to life). We wanted to include Jean Grey for example - given that she's been dead since 2004, but we know that Marvel will bring her back one day - hell they've written a future where she returned.

So we really had to dig deep to find some really good dead bodies for this article.

Please do take the time to remember friends, family and other loved ones in your life who have gone ahead. And do remember to value the friends, family and loved ones who are with you today.

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GI Joe Defense Mech

GI Joe Defense Mech

Presenting a 2004 Defense Mech from the GI Joe Valor vs Venom toyline.

There's something built into every guy's ego that says that if you are to enter the battlefield, you have to be the biggest, baddest motherfracker to walk into the warzone.

And the GI Joe Defense Mech is definitely the thing to make you feel like you have the biggest.... thing.... on the battlefield - especially since this is a power-suit, not a mech or a walking tank like the Steel Marauder

For more about the GI Joe Steel Marauder, click here. 

Though personally, I think that anybody strapping into a GI Joe Defense Mech should really be bothered by the "radioactive" symbol above the cockpit which suggests that this thing is probably powered by a mini-nuclear reactor (Akin to Battlemechs).

That's not something you want to be close to in the event of reactor breach.

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GI Joe Slaughter's Marauders Varujan "Bull" Ayvazyan

Varujan "Bull" Ayvazyan

Presenting Sergeant Varujan "Bull" Ayvazyan of the GI Joe Slaughter's Marauders team.

Sergeant Bull's primary military specialty is listed as Counterintelligence - which we found to be a bit funny given that, given his size, body mass and bald head, he would stick out like a sore thumb in any counterintelligence operation - unlike say Lady Jaye who can blend in.

For more about Lady Jaye, click here.

The answer is that Bull is probably an Operator: he's the guy counterintelligence sends in - quietly or noisily - when all the back and black door operations have failed.

Or he's GRS - a member of the CIA's Global Respose Staff.

Though we have to admit that we've been watching 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi almost on a loop lately.

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GI Joe Low Crawl Vehicle - LCV - Recon Sled

GI Joe Low Crawl Vehicle - LCV - Recon Sled

Presenting a vintage 1986 GI Joe Low Crawl Vehicle - LVC - Recon sled (Driven by a 2009 Tunnel Rat).

Wow. This GI Joe reconnaissance sled is 30 years old - a genuine tribute to the durability of plastic.

These were supposedly built as vehicles that would literally crawl through high-grass or jungle terrain in order to spy on Cobra. Our problem with that is that if you read the blueprints for the LCV Recon sled, you won't find anything that would silence the engine.

The GI Joe Team used the LCVs in the Rise of Serpentor cartoon series as a light-assault scout, both in the battle of Napoleon's tomb in France and again in Egypt in the battle of Xanoth Amon Toth's tomb.

In both battles they were treated like armored motorcycles.

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GI Joe 50th Anniversary Marine Devastation Gung-Ho

GI Joe 50th Anniversary Marine Devastation Gung-Ho

Presenting Gung-Ho from the GI Joe 50th Anniversary Marine Devastation toyline. 

There's a rumor going around the interweb that suggests that Hasbro has stopped producing GI Joe action figures because it militarizes the youth, simplifies the war against terror and promotes Nationalism bordering on racism. 

GI Joe makes collectors Rednecks. 

We should point out that Gung-Ho is a Cajun, not a Redneck. We understand some Cajuns take offense to the use of the generic term for people South of the Mason-Dixon line. 

We think that such an idea is too simplistic and is a matter of marketing and public relations.

But then again, Trump is inching his way towards becoming "the most powerful man in the universe" so what do we know?

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Dark Lord Dungeon 2015 Toy of the Year

Presenting the Dark Lord Dungeon Toy of the Year Awards for 2015!

It's that time of year when we go through the Dungeon's statistics and determine what you - the readers and visitors to this site - really love (Which includes things we hate sadly, but yeah, thanks for visiting). We have a winner for each month, and a runner-up.

The Toy of the Year Award is given to the monthly winning figure that we feel influenced our lives the most.

Feel free to comment, argue or react in the comments section below. Happy New Year to all and thank you very much for visiting our little blog.

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GI Joe Warthog AIFV

GI Joe Warthog AIFV - Ugly and brings bad news, get out of it's way.

Presenting the GI Joe Warthog Amphibious Infantry Fighting Vehicle (AIFV), with it's driver (didn't seem right that he was driving the thing, so we made him the gunner) Sgt Slaughter.

Released in 1988, the Warthog AIFV is one of the oldest vehicles in the Dungeon that was acquired complete a few years back. It took us a while though to capture the right Sgt Slaughter that went with it and we can only dream about affording the modern version of Sgt Slaughter - maybe one day.

It's one of the GI Joe vehicles that are based upon real military vehicles, the Marine Armored Amphibious Vehicle (AAV). Though it has seen several upgrades, the AAV uses a design that has been in service since 1972.

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GI Joe Custom Cover Girl

Presenting a GI Joe custom Cover Girl action figure.

Cover Girl is Specialist Courtney A. Krieger from Peoria, Illinois. She's probably best know in the GI Joe community for being the primary pilot associated with the GI Joe Wolverine missile-boat, AND for being a former high-end fashion model.

Sadly despite her success in the modern world, she found the modelling life completely unfulfilling. So she enlisted studied how to be a tank driver in Fort Knox and learned how to build/repair gas and diesel engines.

Eventually, despite her aversion to the use of her natural beauty in her career, she enrolled to study espionage in Fort Huachuca Military Intelligence School.

Sadly Hasbro has not deemed it fit to create a modern version of Cover Girl other than the really, really crappy likeness of the beautiful Karolína Kurková (Who Steven Sommers had Zartan knife in the back while she was flirting with General Hawk). The only modern version of Cover Girl available in the market is the outrageously priced version from the GI Joe Collectors Club.

So we made our own.

Elite Force Gunboat - G.I. Joe repurpose

Presenting the Elite Force Naval Special Warfare Gunboat re-purposed by the G.I. Joe jungle team.

What's particularly nice about this river boat is that it is based upon a real life vehicle: The Navy SEAL Special Operations Craft - Riverine or SOC-R.

The SOC-Rs were developed for close-in fighting on rivers. It's a given that ambushes in tight river situations may happen at any time and at any place, so either you stock up on armor and hide, or defend yourself with an overwhelming amount of firepower - which is what the SOC-R is able to do as all it's weapons combined form a 360 degree kill zone.

The SOC-Rs are used to insert or recover squads and were designed to be extremely versatile. They are powered by a Hamilton HJ92 water pump-jet system - so no there are no props that may be caught in vines or other river debris - that are powered by two 440hp Yanmar 6L Y2M-STE diesel engines. The SOC-R has no more than a 2ft draft when fully loaded and given its v-shaped hull design, it is capable of literally "skating" over water. It is also light enough that it can be lifted easily by a Chinook.

GI Joe Devilfish

Presenting the GI Joe Devilfish the riverine warfare and patrol boat of the GI Joe team. 

The GI Joe Devilfish first made an appearance all the way back in May of 1986 in the Marvel Comic book version of GI Joe. The issue was GI Joe 47, which carried the story-title "Sea Duel" 

It was the first and last appearance of the Devilfish in the Marvel Comic books. 

BUT it was one of the most pivotal issues of GI Joe!

"Sea Duel" takes place right after Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow storm Cobra Island in order to avenge the death of the Hard Master by slaying Zartan, the Cobra Master of Disguise.

Which they fail to do.

Believing that Zartan had fled the island, the two ninjas are now faced with having to fight their way out of Cobra Island.

GI Joe Retaliation Jinx

Presenting Jinx from the GI Joe Retaliation Toy Line.

Yes. Two years after the release of the GI Joe Retaliation movie, we finally got our hands on the ultra-expensive and hard-to-find Jinx action figure (Of course we're still looking for the unmasked and red-masked SDCC versions - or the really, really expensive Kim Arashikage figure - if only they were cheaper).

To the uninitiated (Really? Why are you here?) this particular Jinx was portrayed by Elodie Yung in the GI Joe Retaliation movie. Jinx was more or less a supporting character who was struggling to earn the respect of Snake-Eyes who mistrusted her primarily because Jinx was the cousin of his nemesis Storm-Shadow.

Jinx was with Snake-Eyes in the battle of a red-ninja filled mountain to kidnap Storm-Shadow. It is during that battle that she wore this yellow-jacket ninja outfit which ran contrary to her traditional cartoon incarnation red outfit. This was probably done to help distinguish her from the rest of the red ninjas (Black was taken by Snake-Eyes).

Or GI Joe Retaliation director John Chu is a fan of the Power Rangers.